How to survive burnout.
I had read many articles about people being burned out, and in some instances, I had experienced a form of it. At some point in our careers, we reach this point, and all of the indications start to show; we are not motivated, we are losing hope, we are bored, we feel like a hamster running on a wheel going nowhere, and we start to need something else. But, a more severe level of being burned out and a dangerous type must be addressed and preferably prevented because the recovery is not immediate. It can take months and requires much personal work to recover from it.
I have always been a hard worker and endured stressful situations, and have been able to reinvent my life many times. Still, when I experienced burnout for the first time, I doubted my ability to recover from it. Below are some of the reasons that drove me to this point.
Ongoing Stress. Stress is the number one reason for all of the crises. I had worked aggressively, and it seemed there was never enough time for everything I needed to do, juggling many things, challenges, deadlines, and people, starting early and ending late every day. If I took days off, I would pay for it with heavy work expected when I returned. This stress started to add up and resulted in a hard reality.
People. As an entrepreneur, I had to learn to adapt quickly to dealing with different people from different regions and mindsets, socio-economic and success levels, and wildly different attitudes. There is a dark side to dealing with humanity, their lack of commitment, lies, flakes, rude attitude, insecurity, abuse, egocentrism, narcissism, too much can get to anybody, no matter how strong we are, because people have limits. During my journey, I dealt with a significant number of people that, more often, were difficult, and I was exhausted from the constant disappointments. This can also happen in companies for the same reasons; dealing with egos, people that protect their territory who are competitive, jealous, or lazy, which complicates the process and creates many frustrations for others. After a while this can push people to the edge.
This is what I experienced when I got severely burned out:
I lost hope.
Something unnatural to me because my nature is to take leaps of faith, so when I lose hope, I lose everything. The belief that my ability to snap out of this burned out quickly was nonexistent. I wasn't sure I could continue to do what I loved so much. I also lost the belief in people. I was stuck in all the disappointments I had experienced, and desiring to relate with strangers was not there anymore.
I had to take a long break from people.
I could not even go to dinner and socialize. I passed on invitations to events, networking, parties, and anything that required me to speak to strangers, and I wanted to avoid talking to people. I could not handle superficial conversations either, so I hid in a long quiet space for a while.
Mental and physical exhaustion.
Similar to the symptoms of long covid, I had brain fog, I could not make any decisions, and I had reached decision fatigue from what to eat for breakfast to deciding if I wanted to take a walk or watch a movie. I could not decide. All of the senses of pleasures of activities had vanished. I would wake up late, take naps, and sleep early. I found an escape in my sleep, and despite sleeping many hours, I was still tired during the day. I could not understand it. The mental and physical exhaustion was unbearable, I had no choice but not do anything.
I could not work. My productivity went from 1000% to 1%, and there it was the final crisis;
I questioned my purpose, existence, and spirituality and whether I could recover, be excited, and be happy again.
This led to anger.
I realized I had not healed from past experiences, people that used me and didn't respect me, family crises, compared my life to others, things I desired in life that never happened, worthiness, and wish I had taken many different turns in my life, had been more careful with my investments, that I had stood up for myself, and had walked away from certain people and situations, but this led to realizing that I had made every decision thinking I was in full control. Life showed me how wrong I was and what humility and being able to surrender truly means.
I kneeled, cried for a couple of months, forgave myself, and forgave God. I had been a believer, like a "just in case" type of believer. But things changed completely. I am now a total believer with deep respect for God and the crisis we can create for ourselves when we stray away.
Here is how I recovered and my recommendations to prevent and survive from a burn out.
Take time off. This is when taking a medical leave, taking a sabbatical, living off savings, or moving with a family member will come in handy because dealing with brain fog or physical exhaustion while working will lead to being unable to perform or losing a job. Nothing can rush recovery, so taking time off to prioritize health is best.
If you can't take this time off; take more PTO, holidays, vacations, or consistent medical days off. What matters is that you find time to disconnect and appreciate the good things life offers so that negative situations don't affect you as much. Commit only to the work you can handle.
Let the body deal with it and decompress. People react differently; crying and releasing may happen immediately, or negative feelings may be the first to show up, but it is essential to understand that healing takes time. We must detox from the negative aspects of life, so it's vital to do things that can reverse them and turn them into positive emotions.
Seek professional help. Family and friends will want to be there, but sometimes it's best to let professionals help us. People can dump opinions, not respect privacy, and are only occasionally wise or adept at giving advice. A professional will have no personal agenda, is experienced in handling crises, and how to drive people to their recovery.
Journal. I wrote a whole notebook of experiences, and reading them back, I can't believe how much came out. Writing is a healthy release method without involving others, family, or friends. When we journal, what we write does not matter; we release what it's built up, helping us heal faster.
Be accountable. You didn’t get to this place entirely because of others. Being honest and evaluating which actions drove you to this place is essential. Now, don’t beat yourself, either. Recognize your mistakes so you can personally grow, develop and be more careful moving forward. The lessons are going to help you be wiser about your decisions.
Spending more time with nature. Finding comfort in seeing animals, lakes, water, birds, and flowers it's perfect when we need a break from people. It will nurture you with peace, disconnect from time, and remind you to be kind to yourself.
Read about humanity and psychology. Understand the brokenness and nature of people. Most devastating disappointments come from the disbelief of actions people take against us. These disappointments can create trauma that forces us to change, and often we stop pursuing things we love because we stop believing in people. But when we learn about the nature and reasons of people, we will be less impacted when bad things happen. I spent some time learning more about people. When I aligned this with my spiritual journey, I learned to accept how volatile people can be and how ego, trauma, fear, dominance, insecurity, and greed often make people do things that could be hurtful to others. When we learn to see where people are coming from with specific actions, we can better manage our emotions and how we react to situations.
Put boundaries. We live in a world where most people want to benefit from us. To avoid getting drained, we must learn not to give more than we should. Exhaustion happens when we constantly give but receive very little; we must learn to negotiate.
Remember yourself. What you stood for, your values, your mission, your passion, your beliefs, and even go back to your childhood and connect with life wishes. When we grow up, we forget about that child in us, but it is still there. Learn to laugh again and connect to your joy. You were once full of life, radiant, bright, and proud of yourself. People push that person down, and we must fight to prevent that from happening again. The collection of negative experiences should not rob our glow away.
Learn to fight back, and say no. Speak for yourself, and wait before rushing to make a decision if you are unsure of things. Some actions would be setbacks that cost us more than we had bargained. When we learn to be more careful, we protect and save energy, helping us avoid tiredness.
Change your circle. There are going to be many people that feel better when we are down, they are happy with our misery, and they are not going to let us step up high and win. Change your circle, and defend yourself from people who try to put you down, belittle you, block you from progressing, or are negative influences. Seek people who are confident and will want you to grow and succeed.
Change your environment and conditions that support your goals. It's not worth it if you are killing yourself, working to get very little in return, or barely making meets-end. Go to a place that offers you better conditions, which goes to the people you work with. When we work with difficult people, they can create some trauma in us that builds up, making us feel unstable and insecure. Look to work with genuinely good people who welcome you to a home and that you enjoy working with every day.
Remember your joy, feel alive, focus on love, and play, find time to relax, and try not to take things seriously. Make this a priority. Remember what made you happy, hobbies and activities, get out, explore, and take adventures that will bring some adrenaline rush. Hence, you feel awakened, break routines and boring patterns, and learn to laugh at life again because whatever we face now will be different later, but we can decide if it's worth worrying so much.
Connect with your spiritual source. This is a big one and probably the one that truly saved me. Life is not about goals, money, and achievements. We are here to be happy and to love life. We feel alone, that we are in charge or supposed to create everything when in reality, each of us is a micro, mini-creation part of this world. Contrary to the new age beliefs, we are part of a bigger picture, so connecting to our source of faith can help us surrender the things we can't control. We don't create everything; we must go with what it's given to us and make the best of it. Learning to be humble will help reset and begin again; except this time you won't be alone.
My last recommendation, make new goals and redeem yourself! Getting out of a burned-out phase is genuinely an opportunity to begin again; you will be forced to change everything that beats you down, so essentially, you are born again. Stay away from your old ways, habits, and behaviors. Setbacks are an opportunity to come back stronger, like an arrow; we have to pull backwards to what may seem like a setback; it's a time to gain strength, power, and momentum to go further where we could not on our own. Do things you haven't tried before, get new certifications and education, try new careers, experiences, and people, take chances, and dare to change. You will feel stronger and proud of who you are. You will find a different world and be more selective of who you interact with, and good people will show up, people who will embrace you, support you, and lift you up. If you do all this work, you will not return to that low point in your life again.
Trust me, you will be happy again.